From Violence to Sanity

(Source: livingyoung-andwild, via justbalveen)

Calla Lilies and Tulips

It has been nearly three weeks since I met her.  My life has not been the same since.  She’s revealed to me the truth in who I am.  The real me I’ve long buried underneath the façade everyone else sees.  I wish I could say we met in a local restaurant with dainty booths and a cheesy pick-up line.  I wish I could tell you we ‘bumped into each other’ while walking down the road or even held hands accidentally while reaching for the same candy bar at a convenience store.  However, I can’t, because this would not be the truth.  I met her a day I skipped class.  A day I felt absolutely terrible, for no real reason.

I went online to a site called Omegle.com, a place you can talk to strangers online in complete anonymity.  After a few unsuccessful chats, I found her.  I knew she was female because of the face she made after saying hello.  Guys don’t use faces on chats, especially not the tongue-out face (:p).  I began to tell her about how bad my life was getting.  How it wasn’t turning out the way I wanted it to.  As I typed, I could feel the sting of tears in my eyes.  I was in a public computer lab, though, and refused to cry there.  I took a few breaths and began to type again.  In short, I thought I loved a girl I didn’t and needed advice on how to get her to be mine.  She wanted to continue the conversation, but in a less anonymous place, so we exchanged Facebook information.  It is here that we still contact each other, through Facebook mobile.  This is also where I first saw her picture.  She was beautiful.  Beyond compare with anyone I’d ever been with.  It is also here I found out that she lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

After less than a week of texting through Facebook, and after a very dark time in my life, a created a Skype account so we could actually talk.  She had been there for me during a very dark time, so I figured it would be great to officially meet her.  It would be great for me to be able to introduce myself formally.  When I called at first, I could see her, but she couldn’t see me.  I could only stare for a while.  Reddish-brown hair and tanned skin made her truly a wonderful sight to behold.  Once I finally realized she was typing to tell me that she couldn’t see me, I told her I’d end the call and try again.  On the second call, everything was perfect.  This is where the story truly starts.  For me, it was eight in the morning, and for her, it was nine at night, so the conversation was supposed to be short.  However, when she spoke, I knew it would be hard for me to end the call.  Her lightly-accented voice tore into me and settled in my brain.  I made sure I would forever remember it, and in doing so, I was momentarily speechless.  Her voice was smooth and sweet like honey, and so easy on the ears.  Her accent was noticeable, but not indecipherable.  She was trying to do homework and I let her.  The whole time she worked, I was staring at her, memorizing every piece of her.

Her teeth were perfectly white.  So much so, that they literally sparkled in the lamp-light as she smiled.  I found myself telling random jokes as she worked, just so I could see her smile.  I’d ask her random questions as she worked, just so I could hear her sweet voice.  The first question that came to mind was simply what her favorite flower was.

“Calla lilies,” she answered.  “They are really quite stunning.”

I told her my favorite flowers are Tulips.  When she looked at me and asked why, my eyes dropped to her lips.  Full, pink and absolutely beautiful, they were.  Like those one would see on a movie star, only without the expensive collagen injections.  They were natural.  I almost forgot to answer her.  The only thing that came to mind was that I just liked them.  Roses were used as the flower of love, when tulips are put together when people love each other.  She didn’t get it at first so I explained my pun.  I used tulips to mean two lips.  I held up two fingers so she’d understand and I felt my face heat up at the implication of what I had said.

After an hour of ‘twenty questions,’ she was finished with her homework and took off her glasses.  This stunned me to the very core.  She was already quite close to the web cam, so I had a great view of her eyes.  So dark brown they seemed almost black.  My breath slowed and she stared back at me, a confused look on her face.  She asked me what I was looking at, but she asked softly as if distracted.  My answer came before I’d even realized that I said it.

“The most beautifully brown eyes I’ve ever had the immense pleasure of laying my own on.”  Her blush was visible even in the surrounding darkness when she turned her lamp off to hide it.  I’d never seen something so adorable.  I had to stop and think a moment.  I’d always hated long-distance relationships and thought those who got involved in them as fools.  Little did I know, that conversation, the one that was supposed to be only an hour, the one that ended up being five hours long, awakened the real me.  The oddest thing happened after that.  A faint scent caught my attention.  I looked around and saw the source.  A woman walked down the hall and past me.  In a vase she was holding were the most stunning Calla Lilies I’d ever seen.  Honestly, they were the first I’d ever seen and only knew what they were because I asked the woman.  The timing, however, was impeccable.  I had been just about to end the call when the woman had walked by.  I turned my computer around and angled the camera so that the Lilies were in perfect view, said good night, and ended the call on that note.

I couldn’t think of anything better than to make my first exit after letting her see her favorite flowers.  The white petals were quite impressive, especially in juxtaposition to the green stems.  They were indeed beautiful.  To this day, I still talk to the Malaysian girl.  I now call her my girlfriend.  I’ve broken every silent vow to myself against distance relationships, and I don’t care.  Someday, I’ll be able to truly meet her.  I hope it will be someday soon.  So I can hear her voice, her laugh, see her smile, her face, her amazing eyes, all in person.  So I can find out her scent.  So I can memorize every bit of her all over again.  True love can withstand the tests of time and distance.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder.  I never said it would be easy, but it will be worth it.